Yesterday, I was feeling melancholy. Some of it may have been the emotional pendulum swing from the hope and gratitude I’d cultivated on New Year’s Eve for all the good that came my way in 2018. But some of it was this. The new year is a beginning, sure, but it’s also an ending. It is ok to be sad about that. It’s the end of the year P was an infant. It’s the end of the year I last saw my Great Aunt Marian. It’s the end of the year I hoped for some things to happen that just didn’t happen. I feel sadness and grief to be farther away from each of these things.
And you know what? Sadness is normal. Grief is normal. I am trying to give them the space they need so they don’t have to take the space away from something else.