Just because something’s hard

Earlier this week, I did something a little scary. Like, I actually felt physical fear: stomach clenched, tunnel vision, the whole thing.

So what did I do? I took the plunge and bought an iPad Pro. I know that I am lucky that this is the kind of experience eliciting fear in my life. It is also objectively a big investment of my family’s limited resources. This is all to say, I feel some pressure to make good use of the thing.

My hope is to use this device to make beautiful digital lettering and designs. But…I am not good at it yet. I am not even as good at it as I am at drawing with a paper and pencil. The space between what I want to create and what I’m able to create feels vast at the moment. It’s enough to make me feel like something is terribly wrong, like I’ve made a huge mistake, like I want to scramble back to the Apple store and return it. After all, when things feel hard, sometimes it’s a clue that something is wrong and that I need to change course. But, sometimes, when things feel hard, it just means that something is…hard. And new things are hard. For everyone. So, I’m not going to return this iPad. I’m going to keep practicing.

Published by Emily P.G. Erickson

Emily P.G. Erickson is a writer with a master's degree in psychology. She crafts thoughtful, compassionate essays about culture, mental health, mindfulness, and motherhood. Her writing has appeared in Scary Mommy, Motherly, Motherwell, and more. You can find the latest from Emily at www.emilypgerickson.com.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: