The fall’s fading light brings our inner lives into focus. It’s a perfect time to share four thoughts about mental health I’ve been privately mulling over.
In Minnesota, September means a turn toward darkness. Night arrives earlier and lingers later. One perk? It’s easier to be nosy.
When homes’ interiors are illuminated and set against night’s inky backdrop, you can peep paintings and TVs and family dinners. There’s an art to not appearing like a creep. Walk quickly. Cast a sideways glance. Don’t linger. If I do it right, I get a welcome glimpse of something I’m always curious about: People’s private lives.
I always want to know: How are you — really? What’s on your mind? What’s alive for you right now? What’s taking up your brain space these days?
A privilege of close relationships is getting to hear the answers to these questions. I love the experience of learning about prosaic concerns, proud moments, and pain points.
It got me thinking. Maybe some of you are curious the same way I am. And there’s a pretty big overlap between what’s on my mind and the topics I write about. So I figured it would be appropriate to give you a little peek at the center of that Venn diagram. It’s September, after all.
Here are four thoughts occupying my brain space this month:
Body-based interventions for mental health. Addressing your thoughts and feelings is important, but it’s a whole lot easier when dysregulation in your body isn’t agitating your brain. How active we are, how well we sleep, and how we nourish ourselves all have a huge – and I believe under-reported – role in mental well-being. Lately, I’ve been fascinated with research into the 24-hour movement cycle and metabolic psychiatry (especially ketogenic therapy, which I edited a piece about for bpHope). I predict these lines of research will change how we approach treatment-as-usual for mental health conditions in the years to come.
Strategic Communications x Medical Self-Advocacy. When I used to bring a list of questions to a medical appointment (as recommended in reputable patient self-advocacy resources), providers would interpret the queries – and my symptoms – as anxiety. They’d ask if I was seeing a therapist and if I’d considered medication. The feeling of being ignored or dismissed is common among women who seek medical care, according to research. But now, when I say at the jump, “As a health journalist, I like to get to the bottom of things,” it’s a whole different ball game. Providers look at my list of questions, too, and tick off answers on their fingers. They document my self-report accurately. When I leave, I don’t feel gaslit. I feel like I’ve been heard, and most importantly, I’ve received appropriate medical care. Framing the message upfront, a strategic communications technique, seems to alter how providers interpret the same information. It’s a practical insight, but it bums me out that it’s needed.
The powers and pitfalls of labels in mental and physical healthcare. As a result of productive appointments like those, I’m chewing over a new medical diagnosis. And, like any physical or mental health label, it helps. But only to a point. Any diagnosis has pros and cons. Having a sense-making tool is useful. More than useful, it’s a relief. A part of my brain I didn’t realize was whirring in the background has gone quiet. Still, I’m ultimately responsible for teasing out what I need to accept and what I can change. A diagnosis isn’t an excuse. It’s a tool. Like any tool, learning what it’s good for requires a degree of skill.
Reading is meditating. The other day, my husband wondered aloud why reading before bed is so relaxing. My answer? Reading is a kind of meditation. Meditation is a way to focus your mind and choose what you focus on (and what you don’t), per the Cleveland Clinic. Meditation’s benefits include lowering stress and promoting relaxation. The way I see it, reading books offers that same vibe. Reading may not be a traditional mindfulness technique, but that doesn’t mean it’s not functioning in a similar way.
My Latest Writing & Editing
No new links for you, but I couldn’t resist sharing my fresh headshot, taken by the brilliant and kind Hannah (Pettersen) Solum of Solum Studios.
Book Recommendations
How To Stop Freaking Out: The Ultimate Guide to Keeping Cool When Life Feels Chaotic, by Carla Naumburg, PhD (writer) and Letizia Rizzo (illustrator)
TikTok trends prove that tweens are hungry for mental health knowledge. Unfortunately, so much of what youth find in the wilds of social media isn’t backed by science. Enter licensed clinical social worker Carla Naumburg’s book for middle-grade readers, How To Stop Freaking Out.
The psychological science is sound. The metaphors make the knowledge accessible. Illustrations, call-out boxes, and engaging text mean kids won’t zone out partway through. And it’s funny as all get out.
As a mental-health-researcher-turned-writer, this is exactly the kind of book I want my own kids to read. A recommended self-help book for kids who want to know more about how to own and operate their brains — especially if they find themselves melting down more than they’d like.
*Thank you to Workman Publishing/Hachette Book Group for the advance review copy. See my disclosure statement for my policy on accepting books for review.
Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection, by Julie Schwartz, PhD Gottman, PhD and John M. Gottman, PhD
Despite being in and around the psychology world off and on for 20+ years (as a student, researcher, and now mental health writer), Fight Right was my first Gottman-authored book. Still, like many partnered Americans, I had certainly heard of their ideas (like the Four Horseman that signal marital doom).
This familiarity-by-osmosis meant that much of the Gottmans’ newest book felt well-worn, even comforting. (“Yes, ‘I feel’ statements are helpful in fights! We’re doing great!”).
These reminders were balanced with other insights that I hadn’t heard of before, like the five fights everybody has, which make up the second part of the book.
It’s this second section I want to pass on to my husband, with whom I’ve been partnered for 17 years, as I expect it could be useful for us to refer to in the inevitable disagreements to come in our next 17 years (and beyond, fingers crossed). I like that each of these five fights comes with concrete tips on what the heck to do when they come up.
That sort of practicality is, in general, where this book sings. To wit: One of the best parts of the book is the Fight Right Quick Guide at the end, which makes for easy reference and/or knowledge sharing with relationship partners who aren’t big readers.
I think Fight Right would be best enjoyed by anyone curious about psychology, mental health, relationships, marriage, conflict management, or self-help.
*Thank you to Random House Publishing Group for the advance review copy. See my disclosure statement for my policy on accepting books for review.
Vivienne: A Novel, by Emmalea Russo
What a strange, transcendent book! Vivienne – a novel ostensibly about an artist from another era who faces cancelation – is one of those novels that is so confidently itself that you won’t soon forget it. All its elements – style, plot, pacing – feel synergistic and deliberate.
It’s also a challenging read. Frankly, it was hard to find my footing. But once I did (about ⅔ of the way in), I couldn’t put it down.
Themes include family, relationships, mothers and daughters, feminism, internet culture, legacy, and art (of course). Recommended for fans of literary fiction. Rich fodder for discussion.
*Thank you to Skyhorse Publishing for the advance review copy. See my disclosure statement for my policy on accepting books for review.
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