Some yeses are obligatory. Others are worth logging on from a parking lot for.
One perk of freelance writing: I get to choose where and when to work — or not. On a Wednesday earlier this month, I blocked the whole day off for medical appointments.
Then writer Christina Hernandez Sherwood asked if I was available that day to speak to the American Society of Journalists and Authors Parent Affinity Group about showing up for our kids during everything going on right now.
Christina had read my post last month, where I drew on my mental health background to explain two things: how much our kids need us to be a stable base during uncertain times, and how to actually provide that stability — using our values to manage our own fears and having age-appropriate conversations with our kids about what’s happening in our communities.
For just about any other request, I’d have said no. But choosing my own schedule also means getting to say yes to what I decide matters most — even if that means Zooming in from a clinic parking lot.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about the difference between the tepid yeses of obligation versus the ones so hearty you’d log on from a parking lot for them.
At almost 40, with three kids, the weight of life pulls hard toward the necessary yet lukewarm — and I suspect that’s true for a lot of us. Of course, those yeses matter too. They’re how things get done.
But when that’s all there is, you risk getting knocked off balance. I feel steadier when I remember to keep one hand open, ready to grab onto what lifts me up.
Every parking-lot yes helps.
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